Having a Strong Enough “Why” to Keep Going When Motivation Fades
by Julie Davis, Founder of Coravie
Motivation feels incredible in the beginning. It’s that rush of possibility you feel when you set a new goal — a clean house, a healthier routine, a more balanced life. You map it all out, stock the fridge, buy the planner, and feel like this time it’s going to stick.
And for a while, it does. You wake up early, follow through, check boxes. But then life happens — the week gets busy, the kids get sick, work piles up, and the energy that once fueled you disappears. Suddenly, you’re right back where you started, wondering why it’s so hard to stay consistent.
The truth is, motivation was never meant to carry you the whole way. Motivation is a spark, not a power source. When it fades, something deeper has to take over — your why.
Your “why” is the reason behind your effort — the emotional anchor that keeps you grounded when everything else feels shaky. It’s not about willpower or perfection; it’s about meaning. As behavior scientist Dr. B.J. Fogg of Stanford University explains, motivation alone doesn’t sustain behavior. For change to last, it needs to be supported by structure and purpose.
When your actions connect to something that matters to you — something beyond checking off a list — it rewires how your brain experiences effort. You stop forcing progress and start believing in what you’re doing. Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, famously wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.’” That applies to daily life too — especially for women who are constantly managing the demands of others while trying to hold onto themselves.
In the spring of this year, I faced a season of deep grief — the kind that shakes everything you thought you had under control. My routines fell apart. My energy disappeared. I was moving through each day, but not really living any of it.
Somewhere in that stillness, something shifted. I realized that life wasn’t asking me to be perfect — it was asking me to be present.
I wanted to be the kind of mom who didn’t just manage the day, but truly experienced it. I wanted our home to feel peaceful, not polished — a place my kids and I could love being in. I wanted to slow down long enough to notice the small, beautiful moments that actually make a life.
That became my why. Not to have it all together, but to be here — fully — for the people and moments that matter most.
Maybe your turning point looks different. Maybe it’s burnout, loss, a new beginning, or just the quiet realization that you’re tired of running on empty. Whatever it is, your “why” is already there — waiting to be uncovered beneath the noise of all the things you think you should be doing.
Psychological research calls this intrinsic motivation — the drive to act from a place of personal meaning rather than external reward. A 2018 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people driven by internal values (“I want to feel healthy and strong for my kids”) rather than external goals (“I should lose weight”) were significantly more likely to stick with their routines and report greater well-being. When your reason comes from within, your brain literally processes it as worth the effort.
So how do you find your why? You start by asking “why” five times. Take your goal — say, “I want to get organized.” Then ask yourself why, again and again, until you uncover what’s underneath. Maybe you’ll realize it’s not about the clutter at all — it’s about wanting peace at the end of a long day or creating a home that feels safe and welcoming. Once you know that deeper reason, everything shifts.
Write your why down where you’ll see it often — on your mirror, planner, or phone background. Connect your small actions to it each day. When you choose water instead of soda, think, “I’m choosing energy.” When you tidy the counter, remind yourself, “I’m creating calm.” It’s not about perfection — it’s about presence.
And remember, your why will evolve. Mine certainly has. At one point, my why was survival. Now, it’s about peace and purpose. Yours might begin as something small and grow with you over time — and that’s exactly how it should be.
You don’t need to feel motivated every day. You just need to stay connected to what matters most. That connection — your why — is what turns effort into consistency and consistency into change.
So the next time you feel yourself slipping, don’t shame yourself for it. Pause, breathe, and remember: you’re not failing. You’re just being invited to reconnect with your why.
At Coravie, that’s what we believe real growth is all about — meaning over pressure, calm over chaos, purpose over perfection. Because motivation fades. But your why — the one rooted in who you are and what truly matters — that’s what keeps you moving forward.
References
Fogg, B. J. (2019). Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Frankl, V. E. (1959). Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2018). Self-Determination Theory: Basic Psychological Needs in Motivation, Development, and Wellness. Guilford Press.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2018. “Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Goal Orientation and Long-Term Behavioral Outcomes.”
